Parents shoulder a lot of responsibilities in child training essentially because children are under the care and protection of parents till their adult stage when they can make their own decisions.
There are a number of books on child training, but many of such books become outdated because of the rapid changes in this modern era. This means that a parent’s good intentions for their child may sometimes turn out to be poor decisions in the long run.
It was stressed in our earlier article that parents should focus more on the local language of the child rather than teaching the child in English or in French from the age of one or two years at home as some parents are inclined to do. The local language is either the language of the parents of the child, or the language of the community in which the child and their parents live. This is the language that should be allowed to shape the thinking and the habits of the child.
Parents have three main basic responsibilities toward their children. These are:
Health care (including nutrition and adequate clothing)
Character training
Education
Apart from the above three main basic responsibilities, parents also get involved with issues of professional training of their children. Hardly, however, do parents get involved with considerations of the old age of their children, although this is also very important. These two other considerations are listed below:
Professional training
Considerations for old age
This article is about the character training and the education of the child and will therefore not consider the health care issues of the child. Issues on the professional training of the child and considerations for the life of the child at the old age stage will be discussed only marginally in the course of the article.
Character training of the child: The receptive aspects
In all things and under all circumstances, the character of a person is the most important aspect of a person’s life. Character is formed by the habits that the child sees around them and the type of thinking that the people around the child go through. A child’s character, as they grow up, will become the composite of the habits and the thoughts of the people around them. It is for this reason that parents should take care in the character development of their child. Schools cannot
do this type of work for parents. A primary class teacher on this African continent has at least 40 children in their class. In many cases, a class teacher has over 50 children in their class. Those who are in constant touch with the child and are therefore in a prime position to influence a child with their habits and thinking are the parents of the child and the friends of the child who in many cases would be living in the same neighbourhood as the child.
A parent puts their child through the processes of character training in two ways: by direct and indirect ways of telling the child what to do, observing the child, commenting on the child’s behavior and character, by giving rewards, withdrawing rewards or simply not saying anything as becomes necessary in the course of child training. It is said that a newly born child comes into the world with a tabula rasa; meaning that the mind of a newly born child is a clean slate. It is the parents and the society in which the child is born that write on this slate. The child, at this stage, is at the receptive end of the training process. The child essentially has no thoughts of their own and rather receives information from parents and the people around the child.
A child’s brain develops very fast from the moment they are born up to the age of five years. The child easily absorbs the language around them and sometimes the languages around them; and develops the mental ability and the emotions of fear, joy and anger within these years.
At the age of two months and into the child’s first year, the child wants instant gratification. The child does not yet know about “No!.” They think they should get everything they want or need. A parent should use positive reinforcement in training the child at this early period of their life. Use “Yes”, “Good”, “Very Good”, most of the time. You can clap for the child or hug the child for every good behaviour of the child. If the child shows some bad behaviour, don’t say anything. The child expects “Yes”, “Good”, a hug or a clap most of the time. Not saying anything is withdrawal of what the child expects. In a week of two you can then substitute “No” for withdrawal. Both withdrawal that is, not saying anything, and “No” can be used at appropriate times.
The child will know at each time that he or she does not get a praise but rather hears “No” that he or she had done something wrong. To avoid confusion in the child’s mind when you say “No”, or withdraw praise, always ensure that you tell and demonstrate the correct or desired action or behaviour you expect.
From about six months onwards to age two, or soon after the child has been weaned off breast milk, a parent could pair the positive reinforcement of “Good”, and “Yes”, hug or other forms of praise with something physical such as a little snack that the child enjoys. In horse training and generally in animal training a tangible reward such as a carrot is given after the animal has performed the desired action. When a horse wins a race, the trainer immediately gives the horse a snack of something the horse likes. The same process is used in dog training. A dog performs an action the trainer wants to teach the dog and is given a treat immediately after the dog has performed the action. This makes the animal realise the relationship between good performance and the positive, tangible reward. The trainer will after a while pair the snack or treat for the horse or dog with a praise word “Good,” “Very Good,” or “Excellent.” After sometime, the trainer may not use a snack to motivate or reward the animal, but would only use the praise words, “Good,” “Excellent.”
The same principle for training animals is used in the training of children at the early stages of their lives. What must be avoided is very sugary kinds of snacks. Getting the child used to sugary snacks and foods is something that will destroy the health of the child in later years.
From two years on, giving snacks for good behaviour will not be necessary. At this stage the parent should use what psychologists call, randomized or intermittent reinforcement system. In this case, the parent will provide a snack only once after the child has performed the desired good behaviour three, five or six times. This means that the child will gradually be trained not to expect a physical reward after each good behaviour. With the randomized reinforcement system, the child does not know when to expect a reward for their good behaviour. The child will consequently continue their good behaviour all the time because good results or rewards will come but only at unexpected moments.
From age four onwards when children get into kindergarten, parents do not have much control on the type of friends their child gets involved with, but they can still take some measures to exercise control over the type of friends with whom the child forms close relationships.
For example, a parent can ask their child to come home with four of their friends. This will cost the parent some money; but the cost will only be in terms of some soft drinks and some plastic cups or paper cups that can be purchased in a store in the neighbourhood. If a parent is able to do this once or twice a year, they would be able to listen in on the conversations of the child and their close friends and consequently get the chance to discuss the good, the not so good and the bad issues the children talk about. A parent should use the chance provided by such occasions to advise their child on wrongful behaviours and thoughts, and reinforce the good thoughts and plans, if any, that the child and their friends talk about.
Get to know the parents of your child’s best friends
While getting to know the close group of children your child moves with, it is equally important for the parent to get to know the parents of the children their child is in close relationship with.
To establish such acquaintance with the parents of your child’s friends, the easier way will be to to take your child to visit their friend in their home on a specified day. An appointed day should have been agreed upon by both parents concerned.
A parent should be able to use such direct tactics to exercise control over the type of persons their child gets in constant relationship with from the nursery age of 3 years to age 10. After age 10, children will begin to see through their parent’s desire to supervise and control their child’s relationships and may resent such control. However, the parent could now adopt indirect methods to get to know what’s going on between their child and their friends. Still, the occasional bring your friends party works in many situations. The relationship a parent establishes with their child’s parents and close friends will allow a female child of 12 years to tell their parent one day, for example, that “Sabina says I should accompany her to visit Kamau, a boy of 16 years, in his home.
The parent has not met Kamau before, but could then go on to find out more about him etc. If there is any suspicion, the parent could at this juncture advise their girl child appropriately. In these days of the mobile phone, a person can lie mercilessly. Your 12 year old daughter could be at the national airport and yet telling you she is at the Central Shopping Mall in the city, just one hour away from home.
To ensure you always get to know the truth from your child or children, try to establish strong friendship with your children. Friends don’t lie to each other; and friends don’t disappoint each other. It is better for a parent to have great friendship with their child than allow the child to have great friendship with a person outside the family.
Children establish great friendships with their peers. To avoid a situation where the child may think that the parent is imposing their will or unnecessarily invading the child’s territory, a parent should exercise care in the manner they try to establish great friendship with the child.
Provide the shoulder the child could cry on whenever they face some disappointment. Show concern in times of their sorrow and grief and show appreciation and joy in times of their successes and happiness.
You don’t need to sit through 30-60 minutes of cartoons with the child. They are aware that as a parent, you always have something to do. They will feel, when you sit through 30 minutes of cartoons watching, that you are only pretending to enjoy watching cartoons.
Character training: The productive aspects
After going through days, nights and years of taking care of a child, a parent now wishes to see the results of their efforts: A parent now wishes to see the character of the child in action. A parent wishes to see how the child would behave in specific situations. The behaviours a parent would have taught the child by advice and comments and by other forms of instruction include the following examples already discussed in the February 2022 edition of Africa Supreme. These include the following:
Integrity (Not being corrupt; no stealing, honesty and truthfulness)
Obedience
Respect
Trust
Compassion
Humility
Love
Kindness
Hospitality
Gratitude
Productive aspects of character
A person’s character determines the type of actions the person will take in situations that the person may face in life. The productive aspects of a person’s character are therefore the visible and sometimes the invisible actions the person will take in situations that the person will be confronted with in life. Some of the productive aspects of character include the following:
Courage to speak the truth at home, and in public
Boldness to defend the truth; and boldness to defend those who are right
Not being selfish: Sharing with family and sometimes with friends as becomes necessary and appropriate
Showing concern for the welfare of others
Showing kindness to people in need
Showing gratitude for the things parents do for the child
Making friends with persons who are well-behaved
Making friends with persons who are motivated and determined to spend hours learning
Showing respect to God, to family and friends
Let us examine an issue of selfishness on the part of a child. John, a boy of 10 years is watching TV with his sister Gladys, a girl of 8 years. John receives a phone call from a friend, lowers the TV volume to zero to be able to converse with his friend, completely unmindful that his sister is watching and listening to the issue on the TV. John in this case, has indicated clearly that he is growing up to be a selfish person; a self-seeker and a callous individual. To show respect to family members and generally to other persons, John should have left the TV at the volume it was; gone off his seat in front of the TV to stand about three metres away from the
TV to talk to his friend. A parent who sees a son or daughter put up such callous behaviour should immediately call this to the attention of the child, and possibly also apply some sanction on the guilty child.
A child who shows courtesy; a child who shows compassion, and the one who obeys instruction as well as the one who waits for their turn, all need a word of praise and encouragement.
You teach the child respect to God by taking the child to church; getting the child into the Sunday children’s class; and giving the child a little amount of money to put into the offertory box at collection time.
You teach the child love and respect to God by getting the child to learn to pay their tithes; by giving the child a weekly or monthly allowance and helping the child to learn to give ten percent of any allowance they receive to God at the Sunday service.
Every positive action taken by the child, even if the action was not perfectly carried out, should be commended. This encourages the child to do better the next time.
Educating the child at home
It was emphasized in the February edition of this magazine that children learn better and retain what they learn better when teaching and learning are conducted in the mother tongue, or in the language of the community in which the child lives. A child learns better in the language of their community because they more easily decode what they learn in school in the language and thinking system of their community. The culture in which the child is born therefore serves as the catalyst for easier learning of children.
In this article, we show how children could be helped to learn English better if they are born in an English speaking country; and could also be helped to learn French better if they are born in a French speaking country. Most important, the article shows how children could learn English or French better while at the same time keeping their feet firmly grounded in the culture in which they were born.
The three types of curriculum
We have to realise first of all, that there are three types of curriculum in every society as discussed below.
The formal curriculum: The formal curriculum is the curriculum that is carefully planned and written for learning in primary, in secondary schools, in tertiary education institutions, and in Technical Vocational Education and Training Institutions (TVET).
Non-formal curriculum: The non-formal curriculum is the curriculum type that is planned and delivered in non-formal education institutions by facilitators.
The hidden curriculum: The hidden curriculum is the type of education children begin to acquire from their parents from the moment they are born. This curriculum is not planned nor is it written. The instruction offered by the hidden curriculum is offered in an informal basis. The information people get from advertisements on TV and on billboards fall into this category. We receive information and education from all these sources without a planned curriculum and without appointed teachers. The hidden curriculum provides children and adults the chances for informal learning.
Learning in present times
It was indicated in the February 2022 edition of this magazine, that high-ability thinking skills, also called “Critical Thinking Skills”, are the most important learning and thinking skills needed in today’s world for mental and practical life, and for production. A child therefore needs to be provided the background to the following at home:
High-ability thinking skills
Imagination
Curiosity
The culture of the child
Being able to learn well and perform well in school depends on the mental ability and other practical abilities the child brings into the world; and secondly, on the quality of teaching the child receives in school and at home. What the child brings into the world are generally predispositions. A child could be a great engineer in future. Presently, however, the predisposition to excellence in engineering exists in the child and will only blossom only when the child gets the right environment and the right education.
High-ability thinking skills
From the early years of two or three, a parent should try to get their child to engage in high-ability thinking by asking the child the type of questions that will elicit critical thinking skills from the child. It was said in the February 2022 article that critical thinking skill involve
Application of knowledge
Analysis of knowledge
Evaluation of knowledge
Creative thinking skills, also referred to as Inventive thinking skills
Many universities on the African continent do not have course programmes that require students to engage deeply in each of the above thinking skills. Students who are expected to have the knowledge and skills for helping their countries to develop faster are mostly unprepared for such tasks after completion of tertiary education. It is worse in the secondary school system. And this is where parents are expected to take up the challenge. The story is told that when Thomas Edison was sent out of school after only three years of primary education because of his hearing problems, his mother was not discouraged. It is reputed that Edison’s mother said, “I’ll teach my Tommy myself.” The little boy grew up to invent over one thousand items in electricity and the engineering profession.
Parents have a great role to play in the education of the child. When a child tells mother or father about an incident that has happened, the parent should take the opportunity to ask the child the following questions:
Where did this happen?
Who said that or who did that?
What did the boy or girl say or do?
Why did he or she say that, or do that?
When did this happen?
Sometimes the issue will involve a question on “How can this be repaired?” or a question of that nature.
Bear in mind that questions (4), (5) and (6) will be difficult for a child of three years. The child would not know about “This morning”, “This afternoon” or “This evening.” The child may also not know about “yesterday” or “tomorrow.” Four year olds could be taught at home to learn these concepts of time: yesterday, tomorrow etc.
Bear in mind also that “how” questions will be difficult for most four year olds, but a parent should try asking “how” questions and gradually help the child to learn how some basic precautions could be taken by children. A parent should teach the child about measures to take to prevent children getting into some accidents at home and in the community. Accident prevention measures such as the following should be taught the child at the very early stages of their life; even before age one.
Not getting close to fire
Not touching hot items
Not holding a knife
Not touching the electricity socket
Not walking on slippery floors
Preventing the child from getting hurt in any way is a primary responsibility of parents. A parent could buy electricity plugs for all the sockets that are not in use in the house and plug all such sockets to prevent one year and two year old children from inserting their little finger in sockets that are not in use and getting electrocuted.
By getting the child to attain deeper understanding of events and issues, a parent will be helping the child in building the foundation for scholarship, intelligent living and success in life.
Imagination and curiosity
It was said in the earlier edition of this magazine that it is important for parents to get the child to form concepts such forest, lake, river, the various animals in their environment, and concepts of family relationships: uncle, aunty, grandma, grandpa and other relationships including cousins and friends. Concept formation helps the child to imagine the nature of the world around them.
Curiosity is the basis for investigations and research. Help the child to find out how things work. Inventions of all types of products begin with curiosity followed by investigations or research before production of many of the goods and various items we find around us in the world today.
Encourage curiosity, but take care the child does not get hurt in the process of finding out how the things in the house work.
Becoming a cultured person while learning English and French
When it is said that a man or woman is a person of the soil, it means the person was born and bred in the country where he or she lives. For example, if a woman in Liberia introduces a Liberian man or woman as a man or woman of the soil, it means the person being introduced was born and bred in Liberia and knows the culture of Liberia.
It has been said in the earlier edition on the topic of child training that it is more useful to educate the child first in their first language and in the culture of the society in which the child was born. Educating a child in their first language helps the child to learn faster and perform better and faster. Many kindergarten and primary schools start child education in the language of the ethnic group into which the child has been born, English or French is generally taught as a subject on the curriculum in many of such schools until Primary Class 4 or 5 when English or French now becomes the language of teaching and learning. This is a good instruction system because it allows a young person to live and learn in the culture and in the language into which he or she has born before moving into another stage of the education system in which instruction will be carried out in English, French or Portuguese.
However, for parents who wish their children to get a head-start in their education by enrolling their child in an All-English or All-French school from kindergarten and throughout primary education, the Integrated Day Curriculum is introduced as an alternative to the All-English or All-French school.
The Integrated Day Curriculum
The Integrated Day Curriculum was introduced in the American and British school systems about fifty years ago, that is in years between1965 and 1975. The concept of integrated curriculum has a number of varieties. We consider only the Integrated Day Curriculum since it will be more suitable and appropriate for parents with the help of a temporary teacher or instructor.
The Integrated Day Curriculum is a child-centered curriculum that is carried out with minimal teaching. In the integrated day curriculum, knowledge is organized around themes, topics or ideas. To any chosen topic, subject matter from a variety of subjects such as mathematics, language, art, science etc may be introduced for discussion and practical activities that will help pupils and students to understand the chosen topic better.
In a school class, a topic such as democracy could be chosen for the Integrated Day. Pupils or students will then be expected to discuss the topic bringing in subject matter from different subjects.
In our case, it is suggested that a parent or parents could choose Saturday as the Integrated Day, and English, if this is in an English speaking country, or French if this is in a French African speaking country, as the language in which the learning and all related activities will be carried out.
The Instructor
Obviously, a parent will not have the time to carry out this amount of instruction required as part of their jobs as parents. It is therefore suggested that instead of enrolling the child in an All-English or All-French school, where fees may be quite high, the parent should get the services of an English teacher, a French teacher, or a Portuguese teacher whose services may not be as high as fees in an All-English, All-French or All-Portuguese school.
Organising subject
In an English speaking country, the organizing subject will be the English language. In a French speaking country, the organizing subject will be the French language. Similarly, in a Portuguese
speaking country, the organizing subject will be the Portuguese language.
Topics for learning, discussion and activities
The topics chosen for learning, discussion and related activities should be at the level of the child or children concerned. Preferably, the topic should be chosen by the child or the children in the family. Integrated curriculum is a system that allows the child to integrate or combine their knowledge and skills in a number subjects in solving a problem or in dealing with a topic. The topic chosen should allow the child to use their knowledge in many of the subjects they have studied in school. We choose “Going shopping”, as one of possible topics for age 5 or 6 children. Let us go through possible sequence of learning in this chosen topic using English or French.
The child or children are required to go to Aunty Mercy’s shop to buy a number of items that include the following: 6 tins of fish; 2 kilos of onions; 3 kilos of tomatoes; and 1 bottle of cooking oil.
The child goes to Aunty Mercy’s shop and the learning sequence goes as follows:
Child: Good morning Aunty Mercy.
Aunty Mercy: Good morning, my daughter. How are you today?
Child: I am well; Thank you, Aunty Mercy.
Aunty Mercy: What can I do for you?
Child: I want to buy 6 tins of fish; 2 kilos of onions; 3 kilos of tomatoes; and 1 bottle of cooking oil.
Aunty Mercy brings the items to the counter and puts them into a plastic or paper bag, and says the following: Here you are. That will cost 12 dollars.
The child counts 15 dollars and gives this to Aunty Mercy. Aunty Mercy takes the money, counts it and says: I have to give you 3 dollars change. She then gives the change to the child, and says the following:
Aunty Mercy: Give my greetings to your mother when you get home, and tell her I’ll see her in church this coming Sunday.
Child: I’ll tell her. Bye Bye!
Aunty Mercy: Bye!
The learning sequence could be theoretical, that is conducted at home, or in practical terms where arrangements have already been made with a shop owner in the neighbourhood.
Duration of learning
The learning period could start on Saturday morning from 9am up to 11am or 12noon. After the part-time teacher has left the home of the family, the family could decide to continue carrying out all activities for the rest of the day in English or in French depending on the official language of the country.
What does the Integrated Day Curriculum system do for children?
The child gets the following:
Acquires real life experiences that help the child to understand their school subjects better
The freedom to explore, to discover and acquire deeper understanding of knowledge
Ensures that the child Is not uprooted from their culture; Remains in the culture of their country and neighbourhood
Obtains sound knowledge of their cultural language that helps the child to understand their school learning better and faster.
Maintains their friendship with age mates in the community
Maintains relationships with people he or she will talk to and share ideas with in their old age in the language of their community
Learns English to a high level far above age mates who did not have the integrated day opportunity. If it’s in a French speaking country or a Portuguese speaking country, the child learns French or Portuguese to a high level far above age mates who did not have the integrated day opportunity.
For parents in English speaking countries who want their child or children to be proficient in English and in French, they could use three weekends for integrated day learning using English as the organizing subject, and one weekend for integrated day learning using French as the organizing subject.
In the same way, parents in the French speaking countries could use three weekends for integrated day learning using French as the organizing subject and one weekend using English as the organizing subject.
Parents in Portuguese speaking countries could develop a similar programme for their children.
On the other hand, parents could also decide to use two weekends and two weekends of the month for study using English, French or Portuguese as the organizing subject for integrated day learning.
All-English and all-French schools are also encouraged to use only one day in a month for integrated day curriculum study. On this day, the local language would be used for teaching and learning of all subjects in the curriculum. This would help the children to acquire some grounding in the culture and the language of the local areas where the schools operate. This suggestion however would have to be considered by the owners of the schools, the boards of the schools and the parents of the children of the schools.
Let us remember that over 80 percent of the professors in respective African countries who teach English or French are Africans and not Englishmen and women, and neither are they French men and women. Our intention is not to destroy All-English, All-French schools or All-Portuguese schools. Our intention is to introduce an instructional system that works better but is presently not practiced in schools on the African continent. It is always a question of money. The Ministry of Education does not have the money and the resources. Parents are therefore encouraged to take up this challenge to help their children to acquire knowledge and skills faster while still living in their homes and attending their local public or private schools.
