The responsibility of parents is to create a safe and comfortable environment for the child to grow into a confident individual. But this may, in some cases, never happen. From the age of one, some children may be subjected to all sorts of fears from physical violence, emotional violence and threats of violence. Each of these fears, threats and actual violence has severe effects on the personality of the child as they grow up. 

Sources of fears about the child 

From a very early age, the child learns by touching the things in their environment: the radio, the TV and everything else around them. Some of the younger persons in the household would at this stage begin to howl at the child “Don’t touch it” “I’ll beat you.” 
They really do not intend to beat a child of one year, but the constant threat of suffering the pain of beating has already been instilled in the child. This is the stage in which parents, caregivers and other household members should exercise patience; watch every move of the child to be able to protect the child from danger: from fire sources; knives and dangerous substances. 
As the child reaches the age of two and can walk on their own, threats of violence may become real. The threats may now include insults and occasional spanking. Insults and spanking constitute emotional and physical violence against the child. At this age, and sometimes even earlier, a girl child could be subjected to sexual abuse by an older male; an action that would scar the child for life. 
Many older persons do not know the effects, nor do they consider the effects of their threats and negative actions against a child. In one instance a girl of eleven years, living with her grandparents, was forced to sit on a pot of hot water because she had been bedwetting for many years. Obviously, the grandparents, male and female, ignorantly believed that the consistent bedwetting was caused by the genitals of the girl. Subject the poor girl’s genitals to heat and the bedwetting would stop! A neighbour who luckily came upon the scene made a report to the police. 
Two other cases involved a boy of 12 years and a boy of about 10 years. In each of these separate cases, the boys, living with their step-mothers, had stolen amounts of money; just about 50 cents (in USA currency terms). In one case, the stepmother forcibly dipped the boy’s hand into hot water. In the other case, the stepmother took a blade and made cuts in the palm of the boy. In the hot water case, the stepmother realized the seriousness of the case and took the boy to the hospital. The hospital called the police. In the lacerated palm case, it was a neighbour who made a report to the police. 
In each of these two cases, the stepmothers believed that stealing was caused by the hand, and it was therefore the hand that should be subjected to pain. The stepmothers were not aware that our actions are dictated by our minds. Bedwetting and stealing cases in childhood are in most cases psychological or psychiatric cases that experts should handle, and not by parents, grandparents or household members. 

Effects of fear in child training 

Fears and other forms of trauma acquired during childhood age can cause personality disorders as the child grows into adulthood. Some of the disorders are the following: 
  1. Stammering:  A child who is subjected to threats in their early life, may develop the speech defect of stammering or stuttering. Stammering is a defence mechanism that allows the child some time to think before talking or responding to questions. Stammering develops out of fear and a child may never recover from it. Cases of stammering can be handled by a Speech Therapist. Serious cases should be reported to the hospital. 
  2. Aggression: A child subjected to aggressive behaviour from adults will in many cases tend to be aggressive in adulthood. Aggressive adult behaviour on a child leads a child into believing that the way to get what you want in life is by being aggressive. This behaviour eventually leads to the inability of a person to form positive relationships with people in school, at work and in many other situations. 
  3. Telling lies: In an unsafe environment, a child will develop the habit of telling lies as a way of getting out of difficulties. The child does not realise the future effects of telling lies consistently. Childhood lies lead to an adult liar, and an adult liar is generally avoided by friends and many others. 
  4. Shyness: Shyness develops as a result of the feeling of inadequacy in social situations. The feeling of inadequacy that develops into shyness is acquired y as a result of fears and threats experienced in childhood. 
  5. Chronic anxiety: Out of the threatening environment in which a child grows up, the child may develop a personality of chronic anxiety: always anxious about the outcome of everything; never relaxed. Mild anxiety is necessary as a source of motivation for success in many endeavours. Chronic anxiety is, however, destructive to any form of activity. 
  6. Impairment of the ability to learn:  Personality disorders acquired from childhood, especially telling lies, shyness and anxiety tend to impair a child’s ability to learn in school and in some other situations. Some children cannot learn well in school because they feel threatened in the school atmosphere; they don’t feel comfortable in the school situation. 
Parents and persons in a household constitute the immediate environment within which a child grows into adulthood. Parents, as said earlier, should as much as possible provide a comfortable atmosphere for the child to grow. Therefore, parents should prevent household members from making threatening remarks and statements to their children. They should give a listening ear to the child’s complaints and discomforts and at all times provide warm support for the child to develop the confidence to face life now and in adulthood.